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Hallo liebe Leser,

ich hoffe ihr hattet alle ein tolles Halloween. Diejenigen von euch, die es gefeiert haben :)

Mir selbst wurde es erst dieses Jahr so richtig bewusst, wie bekannt Halloween schon bei uns in Europa geworden ist. Die Kinder lernen schon im Kindergarten oder der Schule über Halloween. Gruselige Kürbisschnitzereien, Halloween Dekorationen überall und nicht zu vergessen natürlich das Halloween inspirierte Essen. Auf Instagram zeigt jeder sein Halloween Make up und teilt es mit seinen Followern. Ich muss gestehen, Halloween ist nicht mein Ding. Vielleicht weil so ein mega hype drum gemacht wird...oder vielleicht, weil ich selbst noch keine Kinder habe und es nicht verstehe, wie sehr es die Kleine erfreut. Auf jeden Fall bin ich froh darüber, dass nicht bei jedem Instagram Login ein Zombie Gesicht auf meinem Display auftaucht ;-)

Eine ganz andere Art von Feier, die z.B auch wir Tamilen gerade gefeiert haben ist Diwali. Darum geht es auch in unserem heutigen Blog. Wieso feiern wir überhaupt Diwali? Wie feiert man eigentlich Diwali? 

Diwali, oder von einigen auch Deepavali genannt, gehört zu den Hinduistischen Festen. Es wird aber auch nicht nur von Hindus gefeiert. Ich war vor kurzem in New York, wo ich eine große Diwali Feier am Times Sqaure besuchte. Diwali wurde mittlerweile vom Westen adoptiert, ebenso wie Holi. Holi Festivals gibt’s ja auch überall zur Zeit... auch kombiniert mit dem bekanntem Color Run und vieles mehr. Viele Hindus glauben daran, dass Diwali wegen der Rückkehr Ramas gefeiert wird. Er kehrt nach 14 Jahren Exile zurück nach Ayodha. Andere glauben daran, dass Diwali der Geburt von Lakshmi gewidmet ist. Lakshmi ist die Frau von Vishnu. Das Wort Diwali an sich bedeutet im Sanskrit "Lichterkette". Jedes Jahr feiern wir Diwali an einem anderen Tag, so ist es meistens üblich mit den Hinduistischen Feiertagen. Sie werden nie am gleichen Tag gefeiert. Es richtet sich immer nach dem Hindu Kalender und beginnt immer am 15. Tag des Hindumonats Kartik (Ende Oktober / Anfang November), 20 Jahre nach Dasahra zu Neumond.

Wie feiern wir Diwali und wie feiern die Inder Diwali? {adselite}

Wenn ich an meine Kindheit und an Diwali zurück denke, bekamen wir immer neue Kleidung an Diwali. Meine Mutter verbrachte Stunden in der Küche, um traditionelle, vegetarische Köstlichkeiten zu kochen. Ich erinnere mich auch daran, kleine Päckchen mit Essen und Snacks zu packen und an Bekannte zu verteilen.

Seit dem ich nicht mehr zuhause wohne, feiere ich Diwali nicht mehr so richtig um ehrlich zu sein. Welches sich vielleicht in der Zukunft verändern könnte. Ich gehe aber immer an Diwali shoppen und kaufe mir was schönes. Einfach um Diwali als gute Begründung zu nehmen, um neue Outfits zu kaufen. Vor 2 Jahren war ich über Diwali in London, es war sehr überragend. Überall gab es Lichter, Feuerwerk, Musik und die Atmosphäre war einfach wunderbar!!

Ich werde auf jeden Fall noch einmal nach London fliegen, um Diwali zu feiern.

Für Inder ist Diwali zu vergleichen mit Weihnachten für die Christen.

Es ist ein massives Fest vereint mit vielen Traditionen. Schon sehr früh am morgen stehen die Frauen auf, um die erste Tonlampe anzuzünden. Dazu machen sie die schönsten Kolams vor ihrer Haustür. Meistens bestehen die Kolams aus einer Lotus Blüte. Danach verteilen die Kinder Snacks an ihre Freunde und Familienmitglieder. Im Anschluss gehen alle zusammen zum Tempel in ihren neuen Outfits, um den Gottes Segen zu bekommen. Abends verbringen sie den Tag wieder mit der Familie, essen miteinander und warten bis das Feuerwerk anfängt. Jeder feiert draußen gemeinsam miteinander.

Diwali ist etwas sehr großes für Inder, ich werde auf jeden Fall eines Tages auch nach Indien fliegen über Diwali. Einfach um es einmal direkt vor Ort erlebt zu haben.

Wie habt ihr dieses Jahr Diwali verbracht? Teilt eure (Familien-)Tradition mit uns!

Bis zum nächsten Mal

Hey guys Happy Friday.

First of all, sorry for the English post this week. There has been too much going on lately and for us it was more important to post the blog than post it too late in German. Sorry about that !!

The weather outside is amazing. I simply love autumn and the way all the leafes changes its color. The way the leafes falls down the tree and makes a beautiful layer on the ground. The weather changes, the leafes on the trees changes and soon the year will change as well, and we will write 2017. Everything is In change, our behavior, our lifestyle, the society, but one thing I sadly haven't seen changing is our perception of the term Jaathi, or saathi as we Tamils says.

The caste system is initially a "system" where the Indian Hindus divide the society into different classes. The caste system divides into four main categories - Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas and the Shudras. Outside of this Hindu caste system are the achhoots - the Dalits or the untouchables. Facts shows that the caste system was established more than 3000 years ago. The 4 main castes were further divided into about 3,000 castes and 25,000 sub-castes, each based on their specific occupation. At the top of the hierarchy are the Brahmins who were mainly teachers and intellectuals and are believed to have come from Brahma's head. Then we have the Kshatriyas, or the warriors and rulers, supposedly from his arms. The third slot went to the Vaishyas, or the traders, who were created from his thighs. At the bottom of the heap were the Shudras, who came from Brahma's feet and did all the menial jobs. If you are born into a caste, you will never change to anything "higher" but most often only get "lower" by marrying into another caste then the one you were born into. (www.bbc.com)

Anyways I am not quite sure about all these "rules and regulations". There was a time in my younger age where my parents explained everything to me, and how everything worked. But to be honest, as I grew up, and I expanded my knowledge and was more capable of thinking for myself I started to ignore this topic more and more. First of all, because it does not make sense to me at all, and because the society, specially our generation has changed a lot already, and we actually do not care about it anymore....... Well well well...... That's a least what I thought....... A while ago I came across a Tamil personality who was sitting at a dining table with a mixed group of people with people from different casts (uuufff I hate to write it like that). We were all having dinner, and everyone brought a dish each and we all shared it. This Tamil personality sat there as well, and suddenly this person says "I would never ever be friend with someone low cast". A awkward silence remained around the table, and this person continues "my parents would kill me if I have friends from lower saathi, they will literally throw me out of the house and abandon me. I could never ever dream about having friends like that, and if I find out later they are not how they said they are, I will cut them out of my life imidiately". People around the table was absolutely in shock. No one knew what to say, but thank god a guy changed the subject and we all started talking about the new subject. I will come back to this individual afterwards.

Another episode I had in my recent years, was a wedding where the casts were mixed. There were literally guests who did not eat at the wedding, because they didn't wanted to eat, what if the food was prepared by the other family. I was like, "why the f*** do you even show up?" Thank god, the couple found out this was going on, and the day today, the couple do not speak to any from that group that did not wanted to eat.

Another "friend" of mine who claims to be a "higher" caste, simply do not have friends from other castes than the one he is from. He literally started rumors about the girls and boys from the lower casts just to put them in a bad standing. His sister got married to another casts, but that does not matter, he keeps doing what he does.

Factually they say that the highest casts are the intellectuals. Now my question is, are the once I explained earlier really intellectual individuals. Is that why they react like animals with no brains. In a society in the 21st century where everything has changed, and they still live after this stupid social system some old non intellectuals created 3000 years ago?{adselite}

Back to the person at the dinner table. I recently found out that person is in a relationship with someone who is from a different caste and I honestly got so happy that finally this person actually realized the stupidity of the caste system. As happy I was, I found out that the person had the exact same conversation with a relative of the partner and was having the exact same opinion as around the dinner table. This person has been tricked into/lied about the partners caste. The engagement is in a couple of weeks, and I am (sorry for that) looking forward to see how the person is going to react when the truth is served for this individual.

I am so sorry to display people the way I do. But damn I hate the caste system, and damn I hate that our generation keeps holding to a stupid culture that was created 3000 years ago.

What do you guys think? Is Jaathi someone we should still stick to or should we look at the individuals and their personality and their intellectual characters? Let me know what you guys thinks.

Until next week

Hallo ihr Lieben!

Wie im letzten Blog bereits erwähnt, gibt es jetzt die Blog Beiträge auch auf Deutsch. Wir hoffen, dass wir es einigen von euch vereinfachen:) Diese Woche geht es um unsere kleinen Freunde. Es ist uns allen bekannt, das bei allen tamilischen Feiern immer die gesamte Familie eingeladen ist. Ganz egal, ob es sich dabei um eine Hochzeit, tamilische Party oder Geburtstag handelt. Das beinhaltet eine Vielzahl von Kindern. Kinder verschiedener Altersgruppen. Heutzutage sieht man viele Eltern, die ihre Kinder mit einem iPad oder ihrem Smartphone überlassen, damit sie sich selbst beschäftigen. Hier habt ihr ein paar Vorschläge, wie ihr die kleinen Gäste während einer langen, tamilischen Feier unterhalten könnt.

1.) Wir alle kennen das Spiel Music Chair, oder bei uns besser bekannt als die Reise nach Jerusalem. Man benötigt eine bestimmte Anzahl von Stühlen, stellt sie auf und lässt die Kinder drumherum tanzen oder einfach laufen. Wenn die Musik aufhört zu spielen, müssen sie versuchen einen Platz zu bekommen und sich hinsetzten. Derjenige, der keinen Stuhl mehr erwischt, scheidet aus dem Spiel aus. Die Anzahl der Stühle wird nach und nach verringert und wer am Ende übrig bleibt, hat gewonnen.

2.) erstellt eine separate Spielecke. Sucht euch eine Ecke aus in eurem Festsaal, belegt den Boden mit weichen Spielfeldern und richtet euch eine geeignete Spielecke ein. Bringt entweder Spielzeuge oder andere Gegenstände mit, die euch dabei helfen die Kids zu unterhalten. Die Kids werden es nicht nur lieben, sondern auch die Möglichkeit haben miteinander zu spielen und sich anzufreunden.

3.) Bucht jemanden zur Unterhaltung. Ein Magier könnte die Kinder mit einer Show verzaubern, das ist immer eine ganz tolle Sache für die Kinder. Eine andere Möglichkeit wäre einen Clown zu engagieren. Die Clowns sind witzig und eine tolle Unterhaltungsmöglichkeit für die Kinder. Kinderschminken kommt auch immer sehr erfolgreich an bei unseren kleinen Gästen.

4.) mietet euch eine Hüpfburg. Da können die Kinder herumlaufen und sich richtig austoben. Normalerweise sind sie sehr günstig, einfach aufzustellen und immer ein Mega Hit bei den Kids.

5.) Verschiedene, besondere Leckereien : wie zum Beispiel Popcorn Maker, slush Eis Maschine, Soft Eis Maschine oder Zuckerwatten Maschine. Die gelisteten Sachen sind auch einfach in der Anschaffung, sehr einfach zur Handhabung und kommen super bei den Kleinen an.{adselite}

6.) nach dem der Kuchen geschnitten wurde, werden oftmals die Leckereien an die Kinder ausgehändigt. Stattdessen könnte man unseren Kleinen Freunden schon eine Tüte bei der Ankunft geben. Diese Tüte könnte Süßigkeiten mit einem Malbuch inklusive Buntstiften, oder kleinen Brettspielen gefüllt sein. Vielleicht einen weißen Hut, den sie dann anmalen können. Alles in einem, einfach eine Tüte die sie mit nach Hause nehmen können und auch später noch was daran haben.

7.) stellt einen Tisch mit Verschiedenen Behältern auf. Füllt die Behälter zum Beispiel mit Lollipops, Marshmallows oder andere Süßigkeiten. Nun sind die Kinder gefragt. Wie viele in den Behälter sind! Das Kind, was richtig oder nah dran liegt hat gewonnen und darf auch selbstverständlich seinen stolzen Gewinn mit nach Hause nehmen.

8.) Gruppen Aktivitäten. Engagiert euch jemanden der mit den Kids draußen was unternehmen kann. Wenn das Wetter mitspielt, können sie sich auf der Wiese austoben und kleine Aktivitäten unternehmen. Das sind jetzt einfach nur einige Ideen, die mir eingefallen sind. Ihr könnt aber auch einfach danach googlen und zahlreiche Ideen finden. Es ist wichtig, den Kindern einige Möglichkeiten zu bieten. Erstellt eine Kinder Station, übergibt jemand kinderliebem die Führung und ermöglicht unseren kleinen Freunden eine Party zu haben die sie nie vergessen werden.

 
Bis nächste Woche

Hi everyone Happy Friday.

First of all THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH for the response to my last blogpost. It hit 2000 reads within the first few hours. Thank you so much guys, without you readers, I wouldn't be able to be motivated to write the blogpost every week. I am not blogger, but after 2 months and the great response I get from you guys, it motivates me to continue. I know a lot of you prefer to read the blogpost in German, and tadaaa, good news guys, from next week the blog post will be in German...... Don't worry, it won't be me writing in German (I am from Denmark and German is my 4th language, and I only studied it for 3 years) There is this really sweet girl who is going to translate the blog into German, so this will hopefully be my last English post. I hope to reach some more readers with the German translation. 

Anyway, last week post was about Sharu and Kajana, and how Sharu proposed to Kajana in the cinema theater. If you guys haven't read the post yet, please go and have a read, it's absolutely fabulous (at least the video). I think with the development, that our society is facing and going through, is amazing. We are not fully westernized but we start to lean over to that side. We still keep our traditions within our 4 walls at home, and I would say that's a really good balance for us Tamil living outside our home country. I am not sure whether the development will continue like this, or if we will be even more westernized........ When I grew up in my teenage years, I actually had a hard time blending in among the "white" people, because I come from a very traditional family. When that is said, I had all the freedom I asked for, but the question of whether I was a Tamil or a white, was popping up in my mind too much. I can see from my younger cousins and niece and nephew that their childhood and teenage years are COMPLETLY different. I kind of like the balance we live in now, but let's see how it's going to continue........ Anyway....... This is totally off topic, because I actually wanted to continue with the same theme as last week...... The reason why I started talking about culture and mixing and bla bla is that I am not used to see my friends or family propose. I am soon 31, and that was not a part of the tradition when my friends got married. Nowadays I see more and more Tamil people propose to their partner........ So guys, for those of you who has a girlfriend/boyfriend (who said its only boys who propose?!?!???!!?) and is planning to do a nice proposal, here are my 10 favorite ideas:

1. Give your partner a good massage, but wait with the left hand to the very end. When you start massage the left hand, simply place a ring on the finger, and thereafter ask you partner to marry you.

2. Write "will you marry me?" With glow in the dark stars on the ceiling of your room. When the light turns off, wait for your partner to read the message. 

3. Hire a photographer to do "couple shoot", during the shoot, sit down on one knee and ask the question. You will both be dressed up nice and have some amazing pictures from the proposal. 

4. Go to a place or monument that means something to you, and ask a random guy to take a picture, when the person is going to take the picture, go down on 1 knee and ask the question. Then you have the moment on a picture as well. 

5. Plan a board game night with some friends or families. The game has to involve asking questions, and just casually in the middle of the game, when its your turn to ask your partner a question, pop the question: Will you marry me? {adselite}

6. Buy a box of chocolate and replace one of the chocolate with the ring

7. When you go on holiday, and you will be flying. Tell you partner you need to use the restroom. Then go and talk to the flight attendant and take over the speaker and propose up in the air. 

8. Fill a room with decorations, lots of balloons and photo memories all over the wall, and invite your partner into the room, because there is something he/she needs to see. And then go down on 1 knee.

9. Take your partner to a very special place. It could be first kiss, first date, some place very special. And simply ask your partner to marry you, classy, simple yet amazing. 

My absolute favorite idea is the treasure hunt. It's fun, unique and very private. Find some places that are special to you, and make sure to hide a treasure in each step. Have the first treasure and hint at home (when you are not there of cause) and make your partner go to the different places that you have chosen. It could be amazing if you could have someone secretly photographing every spot. At the final spot, let the ring be the treasure. This idea actually came to my mind from my favorite movie 180, where Priya Anand has birthday, but Siddarth pretend to have forgotten. In stead he send Priya on a treasure hunt. Overall there are soooooooo many good ideas to propose. Google it and there will be hundreds of hundreds of ideas. Find the one that you think your partner will like and go ahead. GOOD LUCK with your proposal.

Until next week

Hi guys, Happy Friday. I don’t attend that many Tamil functions anymore. This is duo to my job, and duo to my frequency of travelling, which means that when I am finally home for a weekend, I would rather want to be in my bed for 2 days and watch Netflix. When I do attend weddings, I have seen it’s been quite common to have a guestbook. Either the guestbook will be at a fixed place and friends and family tells everyone “Don’t forget to write in the guestbook” or the guestbook will travel around the different tables.

I personally will only write in people’s guestbook if they mean something to me, if I have any memories with them, or if they are very special. I do not write in everyone’s guestbook. You as well as I, know that at Tamil weddings, often there is more than 500 people, and some might even not have a personal relationship to the couple, but you show up of respect, which is completely fine. But there is a difference from showing up at a wedding, to write a personal heart touching message in a book that they will keep for the rest of their lives.

Anyway, I have seen some pretty nice and interesting ideas of alternative guestbook (this is just going to be a list, so bear with me).

Traditional guestbook spiced up – At my cousins wedding in Canada I saw this guestbook and I loved it. It was simply a “photo album” which means only half of each page would be filled up with pictures of the couple, and the rest would remain white and the guest could write their message on the blank pages.{adselite}

Vintage atlas or old dictionary – Pick up a old atlas and make the guest write something interesting or funny with a map from the world. It can be either recommendations to visit, memories from around the world, or just a page with a map on. A dictionairy, make the guest find a good word and look it up in the dictionary and just write away.

Write it on a globe – Pick up 2 globes, paint them black, and have your guest write on the globe. A nice decoration that you can have placed in your living room, or bed room as a memory of your special day.

Scrapbook – leave a Polaroid camera, some colorful pens, tape, glue, other decoration paper and an empty scrapbook. Have your guest take a funny picture or a selfie and let them be creative. You will end up with a very creative and funny result when you return after your honeymoon.

Holiday decoration – Is your wedding close to Christmas and do you want to have some memories that you take up every year? Then do this: Buy a lot of Christmas decoration and have your guest write messages on your decoration. It’s a cute idea and you will be reminded every holiday season of your wedding day.

There are so many amazing, different and creative ideas on Instagram and Pinterest. So go have a look and be inspired. A guestbook is not only an idea for weddings, but can also be used for samathiyaveedu, birthdays or even housewarmings.

Until next time

 

Hey guys. Hope everyone out there is feeling great :) Sooooo, you guys might already have guessed what this week’s topic is about. The Great Grand Puberty Ceremony or Samathiya Veeda as we all call it. When a Hindu girl starts to menstruate, she will be thrown a great grand function. The function will be held by her family, and the family will invite everyone they know.  This is actually not only a Hindu festival but they also have these kind of functions in Japan, Korea, Mayan and among Jewish people.

Now, what is the actual tradition behind the Puberty ceremony? So back in the days, it was a ceremony that informed the surroundings that the girl in the house was now ready to get married, and future potential husbands can now come and ask for the girl. It was only close family who attended the function, which was typically held after the first period has stopped. She would be bathed, dressed up nicely and sit on a chair, and in the meanwhile married, often older people would perform different rituals to the girl. Another theory says this is a ritual to get rid of the “thudakku” so she will live happily in her marriage later in her life. So these rituals were done to do thudakku kalivu. The function is done to make sure she will have a good marriage life later, but also to show her that now she has become a woman and she needs to leave her childhood behind and start to prepare to be a good wife.

Back in the days, the girls got their period when they were between 14 and17, so it would be closer to marriage age, and actually the idea about preparing to be a good wife, makes a little sense. Nowadays the girls start to get their period when they are between 10-12. The reason why is the food we eat, he way we keep us active, and other environmental influences.

The typical Samathiya Veedu we attend here In Europe and Canada are way over the top. It is a function for the parents to show how much love they have for their daughters, and to show how much they can do for her. This is from the fancy amazing invitation cards to inviting more than 1000 guests, invite family, friends, neighbors, youtubers etc. It has become a status symbol, to show everyone what we as parents are capable of. Dance performance, professional video, make up, photo shoot, cake cutting with a gold knife, arriving in a helicopter, expensive gifts to the guests when they leave the function and even big after party including alcohol – The limit is skyhigh. {adselite}

The function now is typically held between 6 months later to up to 1 year after her first period. This time is needed to arrange everything; family from abroad needs to attend, so school holidays, and work holidays has to be matched. Makeup artists, the best videoman and photographer needs to be available, so there is a lot of stuff to prepare before the big grand function.

The events nowadays have been commercialized to an extent where it’s hard to follow. They are so grand and extraordinary that they are almost performed bigger than weddings. I have already seen parents who do not support this function anymore, and instead they will have a big birthday celebration when they are 16. Other kids, including my cousin really wanted the function, so she was held a big grand celebration.

What is the girl, who do not menstruate going to do. It’s a fact that some girls will never be able to menstruate, so will they just get a stamp on their forehead.

I personally would be in a dilemma if I had a girl. Now when I am older and more wise, I would not be happy about throwing a party like this. On the other hand, it’s great and amazing that all the family members will be joined in a function like this. I think it’s difficult, and i think it’s all about how our generation wants to support this kind of functions. Are these functions relevant for the girls? What are your thoughts on this? Will our generation continue perform these events, or will they end with our kids? Let me know your thoughts.

Until next Friday

 

Hi guys.

Hope you are all good this September Friday afternoon. First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH, for the response from last weeks blog. Really..... I can not even explain how amazed I was to see so many views and so many likes. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. As you all know, I was a bit in doubt whether I should actually write the post of not, but all together it seems like you guys likes nontypical subjects, which will also be reflected in this weeks post: DIVORCE!

So..... Divorce.... To be honest, everyone around me get divorced, breaks up, split apart of lives in a unhappy relationship. I met with a photographer the other day who told me, he just received the printed version of a wedding album he recently did, but the couple is already divorced. I am not even kidding when I say that 80% of the people around me can tick in one of the boxes above. Is this scary to think about, or is it just facts? So since I am up in the age, I can compare my time when I was "young" to the time now, when I am older........ Back then it was not ok to break up, or get divorced. People from our society would look down, on the those who split up....... I had people around me who suffered psysically and mentally because of our Tamil people's psychological pressure. Friends of mine got depressed, they were abandon from the society and suffered a lot. Nowadays, the divorce rate in Germany is above 40%. Without knowing I would actually say that the divorce, breakup, split up rate, among our Tamil people is higher........ Now... Is that wrong? Is it wrong to break up, even though you had a grand wedding, invited everyone and anyone, showed the entire world that now you were married or even when you have children..... Than living in a unhappy relationship?

What is the reason to this? Is it because we get married in a young age, because that's tradition? Is it because we get married to our first boyfriend/girlfriend, because that's tradition? Is it because we accept the partner, our parents finds us, because thats tradition? Is it because our parents wants us to get married as soon as they find out we are in a relationship (because people around us start talking?), because that's tradition? Is it because we never lived together, spent too much time together, but only know each other from the "sweet dating times", because that's tradition? Why is it that we split up? Has breaking up become our new tradition?{adselite}

The other day I was reading a post on the social medias about this Tamil girl, who's friend was divorced and with a kid. The kid was missing a "dad figure" in the life and this girl was sharing her feelings and concerns for her friend. It was very heartbreaking to read, but on the other hand I got really proud that she did what she did. Trying to help out her friend, and potentially open up the topic about being a female, single with a kid, and discuss possibilities for this type of girls - WOW that gives hope out to those single girls AND BOYS, who sits in the same situation. We have several single girls and boys with kids or without kids, who has been in a "public" relationship and is having difficulties, moving on because of our society. There are soooooo many Tamil girls who doesn't know how to be in a relationship, and ruins it all. There are so many boys who thinks its ok to date public in several years and just break up because now it's not fun anymore - when is the limit? And when is it ok to leave your partner?

So my opinion to this subject is, that seeing a couple split up, is heartbreaking. I have been though it myself, and I know how miserable it is, because our society judges so easily. It happened 9 years ago, but back then it was DEFINATELY not ok. The reason why we broke up back then, was because as soon as our parents found out they made it public (so that other people wouldn't talk), we had a long distance relationship for many many years (where we only dated on the phone), and as soon as we started spending more time together in real life, and started to get to know each other in a proper way. We realized our relationship was just crap and shit and 2 months later we broke up and walked in 2 different directions. THAT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DID TO MYSELF. I have never been happier. Thank god I have parents who supports break ups, if it doesn't work. My learnings are, it's very very very important to know your partner. If it requires 5 years or more to date, if it requires living together first, if it requires to travel around..... Whatever..... Do it....... Think properly before you enter a marriage. When things are going in a different way than expected, do EVERYTHING you can to make the marriage work..... And if it really doesn't work..... it's OK to walk away if you are not happy. You are the one who decides when enough is enough. You are the one who has to wake up every morning and live in this relationship...... So don't worry about people around you, think about yourself first, and do what makes you happy. And last but not least...... DONT JUDGE PEOPLE WHO USED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IS SINGLE NOW. None of us know what they have been through in their life, and why their situation is the way it is.

Until next Friday

 

On a Friday like this, where nothing special happens, I am just wondering what this week’s topic should be about. I have been very much in doubt, whether I should actually write this post or not…. The subject is a bit ambivalent and maybe still a taboo subject to discuss among people our society. But anyway, I have decided to write this post, both because I think it’s an absolutely beautiful and because I think it’s important that we can speak and have an open discussion about what’s happening around the world, without feeling its wrong – Freedom To Speak.

Back in June 2013, there was a special wedding that went viral. It was a wedding between 2 people, they only invited their very close friends and family and the wedding itself was very small. It happened in California, US. It was a wedding between 2 people who were really in love. It was a wedding between a Hindu and a Christian. It was a wedding between a girl and a girl. Shannon a Christian girl and Sheema a Hindu girl. A Hindu Christian homosexual wedding – WOW, when I first saw the The wedding itself was very private, but their wedding pictures went viral all over the world within very short time.

 

Since homosexual weddings have been a topic that Tamil people do not have the courage to talk loud about, Shannon and Sheema were one of the first couples to go out and speak open about it. Their aim was never to be this public, but with the pictures going viral, they felt they should share their story with the rest of the world. So they did :) {adselite}

Sheema is Indian, and she always wanted a traditional North Indian wedding. She grew up in a indian family, and indian weddings were the only one she saw, and also wanted for herself. Since Shannon was Christian and American it was important for the couple to portray both cultures, elegant, classy, warm and loving.

Shannon was dressed in her white dress, and sheema in a traditional indian lengha. Shannon walked down to a American song and Sheema was carried in a Doli by her family in a indian traditional way. During the ceremony they tied their knot and fed each other sweets to symbolize their first meal as a married couple. In American weddings, the bride and groom will kiss each other, but that was not really a choice in the Indian wedding, so feeding the sweets to each other was a good equivalent. The wedding went perfect. 


I really feel this wedding was so amazing. Its always amazing to see 2 people who love each other get married, no matter what culture, scin color, name, sex or part of the world they come from. The youtube video which is linked in the bottom of the blogpost made me have tears in my eyes. I personally know a few Tamil homosexuals that have become either public by now or is living their life with 2 different masks.

 


We live in a civilized society no matter where we are in the world. This also means that it is OK and there is nothing wrong about being homosexual. As always, we tamil/indians might not be the front runners here, but Shannon and Sheemas love story has definitely opened up the topic.29
th of June 2008, the first PRIDE parade took place in Delhi, Bangalore, Pondicherry and Calcutta. The day after it took place In Chennai. Overall there were 2200 people showing up. Since 2003 the events have taken place every year, very successful and no protest or attacks against the pride parade. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh appealed for greater social tolerence towards homosexuals at an AIDS event in 2008. The pride parades have also been held in smaller Indian cities such as Madurai, Bhubaneshwar and Thrissur. The attendance at the parades has been increasing since 2008 with 3500 people in Delhi only.

Please visit Shannon and Sheemas personal website for more http://shannonandseema.com/

 

Guys, let me know what your thoughts are about this blog post

Until next Friday

 

Hey guys :)

Its Friday again, which means blog time….. Sooooo today I wanna touch on a topic which is only relevant for girls…. Sorry guys…. :-/ It’s all about the saree…. We girls love to wear sarees, paddu saree, silk saree, designer saree or just a gorgeous georgette saree…. One of the best things about our culture for me is definitely our clothing….. I love Indian/Tamil clothing, I often design my own saree, lenghas, outfit etc. I owe more than 300 sarees I guess, and around 100 churidars….. (thank you Daddy, for travelling to India every year) Not that I wear them all, I just like shopping them, and hang them in the closet or in the suitcase and open the suitcases once in a while. All my sarees are stored at my parents’ house, and sometimes when I go home, and I feel bored, I start open one case after another ….. YAI…. The worst part is that I will happily donate my churidars and punjabis to my younger cousins and stuff, but when it comes to sarees, I never ever give any to anyone….. maybe because they each have a story, or maybe just because I am one big collector….. I collect everything…. And I never throw out or donate my stuff …… Hm……

Sarees can be worn in so many different ways. The traditional is always a winner. ALWAYS!! But sometimes experimenting with sarees is actually fun. When googling different saree wearing styles, so many different styles shows up. You have the traditional way, with pleated border or hanging border, the Singhalese style, Punjab style, Brahmin style etc. But, nowadays you can also find western-mixed-infused-style….. and that’s where the pant style comes in…… I am gonna share you a little bit about how to wear your saree as pantstyle. 

 Photocredits to www.Touch18.com

 

The other day I went to a birthday party, and was just planning to wear a georgette saree. The thing is that in the last 3-4 years I have only bought paddu saree, or silk sarees. I haven’t shopped any designer saree or simple birthday-kind-of-saree….. So I found one of my old once, gold and black….. I have worn it 2-3 times before so I was actually not really happy about it…..but on the other hand I do not have that many simple georgette sarees, so yea….. couple of days before the event, I figured out that I wanted to do something different with this one, because I have already used it before, and at birthdays its kind of OK to play a little bit around your saree draping style, I gave it a go.

{adselite}So basically what you do is that you need a pair or nice, good looking leggings in a matching color to your saree. Thank God mine was gold and black, so I matched it with black leggings of course. You can use your own saree blouse or use a croptop. I have a black blonde halter neck croptop I bought in H&M, which I normally use when I don’t have a black saree blouse. So on with my leggings and on with the crop top and the heels (ALWAYS WEAR YOUR HIGH HEELS BEFORE YOU START DRAPING YOUR SAREE). Basically what you do is that you skip every part of the traditional saree draping until the pleat in the middle. You simply start to pleat a little bit more than half of your saree, and chuck it in, as you would do with your normal saree. Chuck it in and pin it. And then you take everything else, 1 time around your body and over your left shoulder. You can either hang it or pleat that part as well. Style it up with some nice accessories and maybe add a blazer over the whole thing and Voila, here you go :)

I found a quick easy video on YouTube of how to do it, from POPxo, go have a look :)

We will soon make a video with different saree draping styles – so stay tuned guys

Until next time

 

Hello guys, Happy Friday. Hope you are enjoying this beautiful Friday in the beautiful weather. Today I am gonna share a website I stopped by lately. So basically what this website is about is a space where you can create a digital invitation for your wedding (I have been looking around and it’s only for weddings guys, sorry). You may ask me “Why is this so special, when you can create a Facebook event, and that’s all?”

Well, here comes the part that I like.

First you create your invitation and provide the website with names, date, time, address. And the basic invitation is created. Afterwards you add your pictures and design it, so it looks nice. There are so many extras in this invite that you create, and it sooooo makes sense for me. Let me explain why :)

RSPV – When your guest have received your invite, they can simply respond whether they are attending, how many are attending, what their name is etc. By that you have an idea of how many will attend your wedding. You can add the event to your google calendar, so you don’t have to do that manually.

Song Selection – as a guest you can add your wish for the playlist for the party :) I LOVE IT !! There is nothing I hate more than people going to the DJ and wishing this song and that song and blab la – by using this tool, you have your guests wish for their song.

Live Directions – guest can on the day, simple and easy get live directions to the venue, through google maps.{adselite}

Wedding gifts – You can create your personal wedding gift list, which can be provided with websites for the products, so you know that you will get exactly what you wished for. No more stupid wedding gifts that you will never use.

Guest Greetings – You all know that when attending a wedding, there is the guestbook, and you always say that you will write in it later, and later and later. At the end of the day, you actually never managed to write in it. An online guestbook make people write their greetings online as well :)

Shared wedding album – Everyone can add the pictures that they have been taking to the online shared wedding album. Of cause the album is only available for the people who have an invite. This is also a really cool feature that I like.

There are other planning tools on the website as well, but I really like the idea with the online wedding invitation/website. Even though we live in a digital world, I see this as a great tool for the digital user, and young people on our own age. The older generation might still want a paper card physically in their hands. And yes the printed cards are charming and beautiful. But digital is a good way to save some money guys.

Anyway, consider it for your next event, it’s easy to use, very exciting to create an play around with for the guest and it’s completely FREE :)

Website: http://www.wedivite.com/

Demo: http://invite.wedivite.com/demo

Until next time